Rachel and I almost never argue, but we were in conflict over a recent episode.
Both Andrew and Alex had auditions for plays after the first day of school. The theater group meets at a church in our neighborhood. They both did a great job, and I was especially proud of Andrew, who was taking a more unfamiliar step than his big sister. Rachel overheard him and told me that he was the kid who sings in tune.
Alex's was asked to attend callbacks the next night. Rachel dropped her off with a book and went on to attend the back-to-school night at the preschool where she's teaching this year. I put the younger kids to bed early. Elizabeth, totally wiped from her exhausting kindergarten day, was asleep by quarter to eight.
At 8:15, Alex called me with her new "I'm in Middle School now" cell phone and told me that she was done. I told her I couldn't come get her, what with the sleeping babies, and that she should send her mother a text and let her know. Alex agreed and hung up. She has a very limited number of minutes on her phone and she husbands them carefully.
Five minutes later, she called again to say that she hadn't heard from Rachel, and that she was just going to walk home. I was surprised by this assertion, but recovered quickly. Is it raining? I asked her. Nope. Got your cell phone? Yup. Okay, see you soon.
A minute later, Rachel called to say that Alex had texted her. I said, yes, and she's walking home now.
This information was not received well.
We realized that we had a conflict in what Star Trek fans would call our prime directives. Rachel's is to keep the children alive. Mine is to help them grow up. They are not really in conflict, but have different tactics.
Rachel said that it was dark, cars were not expecting a little girl walking, and Alex was wearing dark clothing. And there's a part of the route without sidewalks.
I argued that Alex was canny enough to look out for cars, and the un-sidewalked segment of the route, along the school playground, was easy enough to walk along safely. And while I would not have suggested this idea to Alex, I was extremely proud of her for volunteering it, and was not going to discourage her.
Rachel conceded that Alex was unlikely to get squooshed this time, but it was still an unnecessary risk for the future. I conceded that Alex could be told not to walk home at night, but that I was not an irresponsible person for allowing her to do so this time.
Both Andrew and Alex got roles in their respective plays, so there's going to be a lot of pickups and dropoffs in the near future.
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